Relationship advice by Kemi Oyedepo

Saw this article on Kemi Oyedepo's official Facebook page:  "If you are in a relationship and perhaps you sit down with a counsellor or mentor and they ask you what you don't like about your potential spouse or what you will like them to improve on, and you answer with "I love EVERYTHING about him/her, or he/she is just perfect", Uhm I don't want to call you a liar but uhmm lol...

Please know that its NOT a sin to want that person to improve in some areas or change for the better. It's NOT a sin to not really like some of their shortcomings or flaws. Trust me, they won't like everything about you either and that's absolutely OK. You are both unique individuals coming from different backgrounds and experiences in life so you CANNOT see EVERYTHING the same way and you CANNOT be EXACTLY the same. What you should do is accept those shortcomings/flaws/differences; discuss them and help each other improve on them instead of pretending as though they don't exist or that he/she is a saint. That's part of the problem today; many people pretend during the courtship and begin to show their irritations and frustrations in the marriage which causes additional unnecessary problems. He may be Prince Charming but accept that he will still annoy you sometimes. She may be like mother Theresa but she will still offend you sometimes. Marriage is all about merging two experiences together and that is hard work but absolutely doable. But if the two of you are real with each other and accept truths that you may not really like, that is the starting point. If that gentleman tells you that you have a temper for example, instead of getting emotional or defensive, see it from his perspective and begin to work on yourself. Or if the lady tells you that you lack patience or you are harsh, see it from her perspective and make amendments. Please allow adequate room for honesty and openness with each other from the get go and be determined to improve. Even in marriage, you will still keep learning and growing but know that you will not get married to an angel as long as you are on the earth so BE REAL. Let them show you their true self before marriage so you can discuss and decide if you want to carry on, instead of ignoring issues or finding them out in the marriage. If, for example, the lady decides that she wants to remain with that temper and she is not bothered by your concern, if you decide to carry on and get married to her, that's up to you; at least she showed you her true self so you can't blame anybody. If she is willing to work on herself, PERFECT! My point here is this - just be real and don't paint a picture that doesn't exist - Excerpt from a Courtship Foundation Class teaching by Kemi Oyedepo

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